One of Australia’s leading psychologists presented a webinar today run by Heckle’s school. He talked about student stress and mental health, particularly the extra issues covid has brought on our kids. It was quite an interesting workshop, and I definitely got some great tips.
There was one thing he said, though, that particularly resonated. He told us his favourite saying. Now, I have no idea of the origin of this, because I have never heard it before, but I thought it was great and worth sharing:
If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.
In other words, by looking at the issue differently, you might find it isn’t as big a problem as you first thought it was.
He went on to say a really great trick to help kids (and adults too, I reckon) cope better is to draw a circle on a piece of paper. Inside, write down everything you can control, and outside everything you can’t control (like the image below). The things you can’t control you need to let go of. Then you’ll have the emotional capacity to work on the things you can control.
Have you ever heard of these approaches before? Good advice?
November 11, 2021 at 2:07 am
It is good advice. The pandemic is a great reason to introduce kids to this way of thinking.
November 23, 2021 at 11:41 pm
I think it is a good lesson – if they’ll listen!
November 11, 2021 at 9:13 am
When you’re making the circle, it helps to start with just downloading onto paper all the things you’re worrying about. Don’t edit. Don’t limit yourself. Then, after everything is written out, you sort them into what you can control and what you can’t. (I can’t remember where I heard this, but it isn’t mine.)
November 23, 2021 at 11:42 pm
That’s a good idea, Liz (and I’ll give you the credit for it đŸ˜‰ )
November 11, 2021 at 11:36 pm
This is great advice!! I also read something the other day that was basically: we are giving students bad behaviors the covid excuse, they are struggling, they are stressed and fatigue and that’s why their grades are suffering or that’s why they are acting out and showing all these “new” behaviors. But we aren’t giving the same grace to teachers. They have been teaching through all of this yet instead of giving them the freedom to feel worn out or fatigue, we are expecting them to run as they normally would in an already broken system
And that really stuck with me.
November 23, 2021 at 11:43 pm
That’s so true, GF. And I bet it applies to a heap of industries where we should be giving more understanding (I bet the medical area is one!).
November 12, 2021 at 3:57 am
Great advice, the only problem is that those things in the I cannot control box make so much noise you can’t hear yourself think.
It is a shame that that most ill-informed tend to have the squeakiest wheels.
November 23, 2021 at 11:44 pm
Ugh, I know. So true, BF. The things we can’t control seem to control us the best.
November 12, 2021 at 9:13 am
I am going to try the circle! Sometimes I think I should have control over all things, haha, but that just isn’t the case!
November 23, 2021 at 11:44 pm
I think it’s something I need to remember. When something happens there’s no point worrying if I have no control (although tell that to my stress tummy – it seems to have a life of its own).