Bottoms are our natural enemy…

They follow us around our entire lives, right behind us, and constantly growing. How do they do that? I’m sure mine’s back there secretly snacking ~ Steve Moffat, “Coupling”

I’ve been re-watching episodes of one of my all-time favourite comedies, “Coupling”. A BBC production, it aired in the early naughties. The show centres on the dating and sexual adventures and mishaps of six friends in their thirties, often depicting the three women and the three men each talking among themselves about the same events, but in entirely different terms (don’t think “Friends”, this is far better).

The thing is, at the end of the fourth series, Steve Moffat felt he’d written all there was to tell, and was ready to move onto other things. Trouble is, I wanted to know what happened. Yes, the series finished with the main couple having a baby, so there was an ending. But it wasn’t enough, not by a long shot. I wanted to know what happened to all the characters past that point – that they all got their Happy Ever After (HEA).

This reminded me of something someone once said about writing. You have to make sure the reader is satisfied at the end. Your reader will hopefully have become invested in your characters and will want the satisfaction of knowing it has all worked out. Give them a great HEA. That’s why so many books have an epilogue, so readers know that years down the track the hero / heroine are living their HEA. Watching “Coupling” has reminded me of that advice – and made it all the more clearer.

Luckily for me, I wasn’t the only person who was invested in the characters in “Coupling”. So many viewers wanted to know more that Steve Moffat wrote a page summary and posted it on the internet – just like an epilogue. Now I’m satisfied.

Rule one of playing it cool… only smile at her face.

Let me explain, Patrick. Here on earth there is a gap between seeing someone you like and having sex with them, that we like to call conversation.

Friendship’s more lasting than love, and more legal than stalking.

Well, you know what it’s like at the start, when they’re all fiery-eyed, and eager, and they haven’t seen you naked yet. And it’s like he’s smashing at your door with his mighty battering ram. And he’s promising to ravish you forever. So you brace yourself for man overload, and throw open the doors, and what do you find standing there? An oversized toddler who wants his dinner. And before you can say ‘there’s been a terrible mistake’, he’s snoring on your sofa, the fridge is full of empty bottles and the whole place smells of feet.

You’ve never understood about bottoms, Jane. Having a bottom is like living with the enemy. Not only do they spend their lives slowly inflating, they flirt with men while we’re looking the other way.